Cold winter night,
Little flickering fires,
One soul shines bright,
As others have desires.
The little girl dances,
Inside her growing heart,
And great chances
Are of her, falling apart.
Happiness takes flight,
Above her great sky,
And slowly, quite,
She falls beneath the high.
The oh-so-great and mighty!
The others who do not feel!
A beginning of her sorrow,
Ever, ever, draws near.
Blind spring morning,
Small gliding dewdrops,
One girl gives warning,
And all others keep locks.
Lock themselves inside,
Without ever knowing,
Leaving her alone,
And her doom becoming.
Once she is beckoned,
And once she is lost.
What others see as mere second,
Can be all that she is cost.
Where to find her?
Where is she gone?
Deep in her own mind,
Her safe song.
Burning summer day,
Tiny crippled creatures,
A thinning that may
Hollow become her features.
The worst of it all,
Bears down on her greatly,
Like every little call
Made her tired lately.
Is it worth it?
Do the others even care?
Will I ever be free?
Of my burning despair?
Her mind repeats hour and hour,
The loss of it, everything,
Turns her thoughts sour,
Bringing her in between.
Dark autumn evening,
Teensy falling leaves,
When she feels all meaning,
Being taken by her thieves.
Little thoughts haunt her mind,
As she slips away.
Will there ever be a find,
That brings her out of fray?
The passion that she once felt,
The ever-receding thoughts,
Her cards had been dealt,
And she was lost in knots.
Death haunts her every word,
As she mumbles out at them,
The world being all blurred,
Was already mayhem.
So one last thought she said,
“In all of time and of dread,
I whisper out onto you,
That maybe I have found no cue.”
She meant a lost life,
And one she found, too.
The Old Man
But in one single flash!
Change and sparks that dash!
Time was reversed in a new hope,
An old man came forth,
Only barely missing her slope,
The smile came to his eyes,
As he saw her, only her, for the first time.
He asked: “Tell me you aren’t yet
Gone inside yourself?
There isn’t much to fret!
Just do not surrender.”
She did not answer,
She waited for a beat,
Watching him with a close eye,
As she replied with a greet:
“I am fine, sir, nothing to worry,
Don’t mind me at all.
It’s just in a flurry.”
His eyes twinkled as he laughed and said,
“Oh girl you know not to lie to me!
For I know all time that is shed.
I know all, all that will be.
“Every tear that you might have made,
I have seen it and did not whisk it away.
For now I am here, at your aid.”
She did not smile, but more frown,
And she stared at him,
Not uttering a single sound.
“You cannot deny my help is needed,
But you may ask, why?
You are not entirely exceeded
Now is the time that you need me most,
Right before you take your life.
Now is the day that you are close,
To ending it all with knife.”
She shifted in her old-worn bed,
Thinking about what he just said.
The old man spoke truly,
She was ready, all newly.
“Only yesterday you were still holding on,
Believing that you could make it.
I am here to tell you no less,
For Mae, you can’t quit.”
“Who are you? Thinking you know?
What is your name?”
She asked with hot glow.
“Hold, hold. You will soon see.
I am everyone, and no one.
Just come with me.”
Mae hesitated, right in her spot,
Not blinking not thinking,
At least not a lot.
She ripped off her blanket
And stood for a second,
Feeling weary already,
And sickly, she reckoned.
It was time she let the cat be killed,
By her curiosity of course,
Nothing less unfulfilled
Seeing before her little remorse.
“Do you recall your many seasons?
Where you felt rolled over,
Alone, ashamed, forgotten,
And for no reasons?
“You were different,
That much was clear,
Than the people,
The only ones near.
“Oh, young Mae!
The pain you suffered…
It was horribly not okay.”
She bowed down in shame,
A sport for some men,
A triumph that came the same.
It was all back to her, again.
“Yes I remember the pain.
How could I forget so easy?”
Pain and suffering are any game,
A game that some men share,
It is simple, dire, shame,
Shame is horrifying to bare.”
“Then I tell you now,
Think of the days that you spent,
Happy, restful, loyal,
And think again, where did they go?
Where did you lose them?”
Mae paused, stopped,
She pondered, wondered, thought,
Where did they go?
Why did they leave?
What caused it?
The end of her happiness?
“I was alone.”
“Alone, all but an excuse.”
The man laughed,
Clearly amused.
His intentions were slightly daft.
“I am a muddled animal,
Clearly you can see that!
What is actual,
Is nothing!” He spat.
She didn’t know what to think
Of this man.
This strange, old, mysterious man.
“Let me show you what
You have missed,
And please tell me,
What was caught in the midst?”
He waved over his hand,
And a spark of shadows
Covered the land.
She found herself, gone,
Outside, in a bright
World. Beyond her sight.
A familiar man almost danced in,
His happiness radiant upon
The choking gaze behind him
That exploded from dawn.
His family, a younger Mae,
And they were happy,
Just the two.
Just two.
Tears fueled future Mae’s dark eyes,
And she sputtered for a breath,
Seeing just the wise
Of it all.
“Is that really what I think?
My father, my only family?”
The old man replied with a wink,
To show what he knew, the chink.
She was the chink, the oddity,
The unnormal, the weird,
The commodity.
Once when she was bright and joyous,
She knew more than others could wonder,
But slowly she lost herself,
As others saw her under.
Under themselves she was,
Apart, unknown, foreign.
Almost alien in her mind.
The old man smiled,
Just slightly,
In the way of a sneaky child
He nodded at her, quite brightly.
“You are like me,
Completely unique,
As maybe rare,
Anything but bleak.
We have many different ideas,
Some unfathomable by humans,
I know, that we must,
I’ll take you away.
Somewhere you more likely belong.”
He saw her pondering:
Where would that be?
And he answered,
Simply,
“We control more,
More than anyone knows,
We control all,
In so many throws.
“Every human has a spark,
Just as you,
And they are special,
Needed, and wonderful too.
“You just found it faster,
And so let me show you,
Let me tell you why,
Why you should live.
Why you should follow no one
“And be.”
And a feeling inside her,
Grew with a start,
As she slowly grasped,
What was always in her heart.
She smiled up at the wonderful man,
The father of all, time, life, death, in command.
She took up his hand and then she knew,
Knew all she needed and was to everything that existed.
She smiled and faded off of the planet,
To go back to where
The man had planned it;
The beginning, the end, the middle.
And everyone plays a vital role.
There can be no is
Without the was,
And so there is no later,
Without the now.
Everything matters,
Even if so small,
A simple story,
Or you.
Do not forget to wander and stray,
for you, young reader, could find yourself that way.
Always look forward and never behind,
But do not forget your old mind.
