“Always travel, always explore the world, and absorb everything. Take it all in. You’re so small and your view is so narrow, but I promise you the world is gigantic. It will swallow you whole if you let it. You would never have to be stuck in your small view of the world. It will take you around and around and make you so dizzy. But you’ll love it, I swear.” His eyes were looking somewhere far away, seeing things she hadn’t seen before, maybe seeing another dimension, color, meaning to all of this.
She wanted to experience life and its many layers, wanted to touch the bottom of a lake and listen to a puppy yawn, wanted to dance all night, and catch fireflies in a jar. She didn’t want to be stuck in some small town with the same routine and experiences. She tried to see what he was seeing but couldn’t see anything beyond the white wall.
Her uncle was back from traveling to Thailand and she loved it when he visited. He was always traveling, meeting new people, seeing new things, and coming back with new stories. He was so wise, she thought.
“Listen, sweetie.” He was back on the same realm with her, if only for a few seconds, “don’t plant your roots anywhere. Do you hear me? Do you understand what I’m saying?” She didn’t understand the change of mood, why he suddenly sounded so desperate. “Don’t let anyone or anything hold you down. You’re meant to go soaring, but how can you possibly do that when you’re tethered to the ground?”
Suddenly she had a thought that had never occurred to her before.
“Uncle, did you never find someone who could make you stay?”
His head was back in the clouds, it could be said. He shook his head slowly, “What do you mean? I don’t need anyone.” Why did she feel like she was trying to convince himself along with her? “I have the entire world in my hands, I can go anywhere, be friends with anyone, love anyone. Why would I need just one person?
The man that she thought was so brave and worldly appeared to her as small and scared. She thought to herself that when you belong to everyone you belong to no one. She looked at the white wall he was gazing at and wondered whether what was worth being able to see beyond it. She wasn’t sure, but she knew he would always be wandering.