There are some things in this world that we do not want to hear or are scared to say. For example there is the dreaded four words ‘we need to talk’ or the three that everyone says on a daily basis ‘I love you.’ ‘I love you’ is a powerful statement but today’s society has diminished the meaning somewhat by saying it over and over again in situations that haven’t deserved it. There are three words in my life that will never lose their meaning and power. Three words that haunt my life and my mother’s. Three words that have changed my life for forever.
I remember the night perfectly. It started out as just another Wednesday night. I just got home from work and I was petting my two puppies that were gleefully wagging their little tails and smiling at me with their bright eyes. I looked over at my mom sitting in the chair beside the door and something was off. She wasn’t looking at me but at my father and her lip was quivering. I hesitantly looked over at my dad who was sitting on the couch across from where I was standing and his eyes were bloodshot and swollen. Fear gathered in my veins instantly combining the two looks and knowing the outcome would not be pleasant.
My mother finally turned her head towards me and told me to sit down. I slowly shuffled over to the eggshell colored chair. My hands shook at my side and it grew harder and harder to breath. Questions raced through my mind. Did someone die? Has something happened to Thomas, my brother? What is going on?
She sighed out a long breath and her eyes began to gloss over. She tried to blink it away. I could tell she was trying to choke down the lump that was swelling in her throat because I had the same feeling. Finally she cleared her throat and told me the news.
“Sweetie, I have some bad news. A few nights ago I felt a lump on my left breast and I went into the hospital to get it checked out. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry. I thought it would be just another cyst but I got the results back today,” she said while blinking rapidly causing a few tears to shed and slide down her cheeks, “I have cancer.”
Time stopped. Everything froze and my body went completely numb. Those three words replayed over and over in my mind. Echoing into eternity.
Is she serious? This couldn’t be a joke; my mom wouldn’t joke about this. What will happen now? Is she going to die? Does this mean I’ll get cancer too? This can’t be happening. Tears ran in rivers down my cheeks and small whimpers escaped from my mouth. What is going to happen?
That question is still lingers. Even after her surgery it still echoed in my mind. Even after five out of eight rounds of chemo, it still lingers and haunts me. Although nothing is worse than the three words my mother said to me that night, “I have cancer.”
